If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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