I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
