Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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