So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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