What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
