how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
