but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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