i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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