don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
