Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
