How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I forget how to act sober
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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