Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
