I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
