eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
