omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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