Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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