Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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