i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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