..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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