well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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