i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
