I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
