I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
