seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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