Who wears a wallet chain?!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
