The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
