it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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