They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
