Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
