We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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