Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
