so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
