he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
