How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize