threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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