I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
