these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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