Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
