I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
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Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
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Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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