I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
