My liver just broke up with me...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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