what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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