ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
