i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
