Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
