Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
