When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
