I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
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planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
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I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?