So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
