Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
