is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
