Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize