you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
