I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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