Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
