i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Randomize
