He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
