wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He kissed a someone with a penis
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
