and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize