Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
