I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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