There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
