Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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