cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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