You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
