It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
