Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
