I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
